Today, Memorial Day 2015, was an absolutely lovely day for late May.
Although Memorial Day came early this year, the weather was perfect and everyone in attendance at the Memorial Day service left after having a truly moving experience.
The Chief of the Lebanon Fire Department and Lebanon Rescue Department, Daniel Meehan was on hand for the observances and did a fantastic job of outlining the history of Memorial Day and of the fine 174 men who left their homes in Lebanon to head off to the calling of creating a better Union of the states.
While Chief Meehan was performing that somber duty, eyes were on the Rescue building. Stalker's eyes. Criticizing eyes. Posts were made regarding the flag flying outside of the Rescue building, and the fact that they were not flown at half staff in memoriam of the country's fallen.
In answer to that question, it was told to me that the flag pole at the Rescue Station on Rt. 202 is a telescoping flag pole. It must be either all the way up, or all the way down. So I set off in research to find JUST the right way to display the flag on National days of mourning and on Memorial Day when using a telescoping flag pole.
I'm pretty good at researching things and I will tell you, it took me looking on over 20 separate websites, top to bottom, before finding my answer. No one seems to address the proper way to display the flag on a telescoping flag pole.
But after a long search, here it is............
With a telescoping
pole, it is acceptable to put the American flag on the
second set of rings instead of the top set. In this case the top set would be
left empty. If the flag pole is not equipped with two sets of rings, then it is acceptable to fly the flag at full peak.
That's it. That's all that is said.
I don't know if the Rescue Department flag pole HAS a second set of rings.
However, I do know that it was told to me that if you MAY fly the flag with one or two of the telescoping units down, but it still flies at the TOP of however many telescoping units are employed. So in reality, it is ALWAYS at the top of the staff, which is NOT half staff at all, and indeed, half staff is not a position that can be obtained.
So, for the sake of argument, I'd personally MUCH rather see my flag flown at the TOP of the pole than at the bottom where it would be in danger of touching the ground. THAT would be completely disrespectful. I'm sorry if military families were offended by the flag flying at peak, but if it had not been flown at all, I would think they would find that more offensive.
Here is a little information that I did not know about flying the flag at half staff if the flag is wall mounted or attached to the side of your home.
For flags that can't be lowered, such as those on many homes, the American
Legion says that on National Days of Mourning, or on Memorial Day, attaching a black ribbon or streamer
to the top of the flag is an acceptable
alternative to flying at half staff. The ribbon should be the same width as a stripe on the flag and the
same length as the flag.
For a wall mounted flag, three black mourning bows should be
attached to the top edge of the flag, one at each corner and one in the
center.
I'm now completely curious as to if the complaining people had black ribbons or bows attached to their home flags?? I know I sure didn't and I know a LOT about the flying, caring for, and retiring of the American flag.
Sometimes not even the "Authorities" are clear on proper flag etiquette. For example, I noticed a slight blunder in the placement of the displayed flags at the Memorial Day Services today.
The order of flags is pretty simple. First, the American flag, followed by flags from any other nation, in alphabetical order by their names in English. Then the state flags, with the host state's flag going first and then other states in order of admission to the Union, followed by any territorial flags (Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico).
After that should be the military flags, in the order that they were established (Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard). After that the remaining flags (POW/MIA, the legion flag, etc.) can go in whatever order you like.
At the Services today, if you were viewing the speaking podium, the flags went in order, American flag, POW-MIA flag, State flag of Maine, American Legion flag, followed by the military flags. Clearly out of "proper" order, but all flags were flown out of respect, and that was the most important part!!
Since the complainers state that they saw the Rescue Department flag improperly displayed at 11:02 AM, they were clearly NOT at the Memorial Day observances at the Town Office building, paying their respects to our fallen military servicemen, they were, instead, out looking for something to pick apart at the Rescue and Fire Stations and I find THAT completely disrespectful to our military and their families.
What matters here is that everyone was doing their best to be very respectful to the families and the Veterans of our country. While proper flag etiquette is important to many of us, complaining about it in a public forum rather than correcting the mistake in a private talk with the responsible parties would have been by far been the polite and correct way of addressing a mistake. Calling on the Fire and Rescue Chief as if he alone had installed a telescoping flagpole outside of the Rescue Garage, well, that was just another terrorizing technique.
Now to address the sign in the front of the Rescue Department on Route 202. The sign read, "Enjoy Your Holiday". If you haven't noticed, Memorial Day IS a National Holiday!! Many people flock from out of state to our area on Memorial Day weekend to enjoy a much deserved 3 day weekend away from home. To ask them to "Enjoy Your Holiday", is NOT improper. While I could not find any such "protocol" on how to speak to people with regards to Memorial Day wishes, I did find this handy note from a posting from "Miss Manners", a nationally printed and syndicated column on proper manners.
"DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a veteran with 23 years of service, and I'm uncomfortable with the traditional "Happy Memorial Day" greeting that the news and entertainment media have foisted upon the public. However, I do not know what is actually acceptable to use in its place. Are there better forms of greetings for more somber occasions?
GENTLE READER: While it is true that such constructions are used as greetings, you will notice that they are actually good wishes. So Miss Manners agrees that they seem jarring on somber occasions.
For example, one would not wish anyone a Happy Yom Kippur; the proper wish is for an easy fast. But in common with "Merry Christmas," that is a kindly hope on behalf of another -- comfort in the former case and enjoyment in the latter.
How would you wish people to feel on Memorial Day? Respectful, presumably, and perhaps contemplative. But to instruct them to do so would be impertinent. You wouldn't be wishing them well but ordering them to behave properly, which is not only rudely intrusive but insulting, as it implies that they are not already doing so.
Two cautionary notes:
1. It is unnecessary, and sometimes unwise, to issue holiday-specific wishes to people whose circumstances you do not know. People who do this mean to spread cheer, but that is not the result of, for example, calling out "Happy Father's Day!" to someone whose child is deceased.
2. Nevertheless, it is also a mistake to take conventional expressions at their surface value. Miss Manners supported you on the Memorial Day matter, but please do not press her about every such remark. It is really tedious when people complain that everyone who says "How do you do?" doesn't want a medical report, and those who begin letters with "Dear" do not hold them particularly dear. "
So, in retrospect, let me say that "Enjoy Your Holiday" was not only a fitting statement on the Community Board of the Lebanon Rescue Department, but a friendly and welcoming one. Perhaps next year, an added statement on where and when visitors could find our Memorial Day Services might make them feel more welcome, but then again, I'm not the editor OR the publisher of that Community Board, and according to MISS MANNERS to tell someone WHAT to say, would be rude and impertinent!!
